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Teletraan I: The Transformers Wiki
Teletraan I: The Transformers Wiki

Cadet Optimus fights Megatron in an action-packed training session. Later on, Lugnut and Blitzwing wage their own personal war on each other, courtesy of the weapons dealer Swindle.


Survival Skills

Cadet Optimus is on what he thought would be a routine survival mission, apparently to survive three solar cycles away from civilisation. Suddenly he is attacked by a Decepticon. And it's not just any Decepticon - it's Megatron!

At first he runs from Megatron, but soon works out that won't work, and starts using every tool he's got, from his axe, to his water pump, to his cable, to try and keep Megatron guessing. For a moment, he manages to disarm Megatron of his cannon and get on top with his axe, when Megatron snaps the cable and drives his sword into Optimus and through his spark...

And then he wakes up from the combat simulation to see Cadet Sentinel and Cadet Elita One watching.

Cadet Sentinel jeers somewhat at Optimus, telling Optimus he got his skidplate handed to him, but he's interrupted by Ultra Magnus, who informs them that Optimus has just scored higher than any other Autobot in academy history on the combat simulator, and informs him that he expects great things from the young Autobot.

Everything Must Go

In the Decepticon Refugee Colony, 'New Kaon', Blitzwing is making a deal with Lockdown for Optimus Prime, when he is interrupted by Lugnut, who is furious that Blitzwing still believes Megatron is offline, and is now calling him an 'infidel' for it, as if Megatron is a god. They fight briefly, but Blitzwing comes off on the bad end, knocked through a wall.

Angry, Blitzwing is approached by a strange Decepticon called Swindle who wears a very stylish bolo tie, and notes how outgunned he is against Lugnut. Swindle promptly makes him an offer, selling him an Andellorian Gravity Cannon. Lugnut is crushed by a huge rock, and Swindle shows up to him, offering just the thing to silence triple-changers. Now armed with a Talosian Triple Crusher Cannon, Lugnut fires on Blitzwing, crushing him.

Fortunately for Blitzwing, Swindle has with him a Torkulonian Decompression Pump, which for a price re-inflates Blitzwing to normal size. He chats with the triple changer, than for no extra charge, sells him a few (unnamed) items he picked up on Dahros. The gas has the effect of turning Lugnut into glass, and Blitzwing then shatters him with a mace.

Fortunately, Swindle shows up to patch Lugnut up with Menonian Super Glue. He then offers his loyal sucker - I mean, customer, a special deal on an Omega Bomb, which can destroy an entire planet. Lugnut buys it, but then Blitzwing shows up with another, much larger and very similar bomb. The two of them both explode their bombs at once, destroying much nearby space-debris.

Fortunately for them both, Swindle sold them both a Nemesis Shield, which defends even against Doomsday weapons. When they inform each other of the shields, they both suddenly realise that he's been playing them against each other for credits. They soon catch up with the weapons dealer. He tells them he can't refund on damaged weapons, but they just want an exchange.

One severe beating later, a number of Swindle's parts have been exchanged with other parts of his, and he's feeling a little mixed up... literally. And apparently, his cyber-cpleen is missing. Still, the customer is always right... or is that left?

Featured characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Autobots Decepticons


  • Lugnut: "This is so humiliating..."
  • Swindle: "Oh, don't be such a protoform. A little Menonian Super Glue and you'll be good as new. Besides, as a loyal customer I'm willing to make you a deal on this fabulous Omega Bomb. Capable of destroying - wait for it... AN ENTIRE PLANET! Now, how much would you pay?!"
  • Lugnut: "And how in the name of Megatron am I supposed to carry that thing?"
  • Swindle: "Oh, but you don't carry it. IT carries YOU."
  • (Swindle makes another successful sales pitch...)

Items of Note


  • Swindle seems to have plenty of access to subspace, as he is constantly pulling huge weapons out of nowhere, for the purpose of selling them.


  • Cover A: Megatron and Optimus Prime fight.
Art & Colors: Marcelo Matere
Color Assistance: Priscilla Tramontano
  • Cover B: Lugnut.
Art: Boo
Colors: Liam Shalloo
  • Incentive Cover RI: Optimus Prime.
Art: ???