Survival of the Fittest

'''Sari is kidnapped and the evidence points to the Dinobots. So Prowl and Bulkhead head to a mysterious island to investigate—with a highly suspicious Captain Fanzone on their tail.'''

Synopsis
Concerned for Sari's safety as possessor of the All Spark Key, and knowing they can't be around every minute to protect her, the Autobots decide to give her self-defense lessons. She doesn't do so well, but undaunted, she continues to practice alone in her room that night. She then goes to bed, but a shadow passing by her window makes her curious enough to get up again. She opens the window and is confronted by the Dinobot Swoop, perched on her balcony like a giant predatory bird. Shortly afterward, her father stops by to deliver a bedtime snack and is shocked to find her missing. He then gasps like a girl. Hi-lar-ious. End Sarcasm.

He immediately contacts the police and the Autobots, and Optimus Prime orders everyone to roll out immediately. Come morning, the police search Sari's room and question Doctor Sumdac. Captain Fanzone coordinates operations from the lobby of Sumdac Tower, checking security video footage and struggling with the operation of his mobile phone. The Autobots arrive, and he asks if anything unusual happened yesterday. Bulkhead mentions her self-defense lessons, to which Fanzone raises some objection, noting that hanging around Autobots might just be, oh, dangerous for a little girl. Just then, Prime spots Swoop on the security footage replay. Ratchet doesn't think it's possible, but Prime notes they never did find out what happened to the escaped Dinobots. Behind him, Bulkhead and Prowl hold a quiet conversation about whether to tell Prime about their role in the Dinobots' escape, but decide to investigate the Dinobots' island themselves first. Fanzone overhears and decides to follow this new lead on his own.

That night, Prowl and Bulkhead take a cargo ship out to the Dinobots' island, with Fanzone pursuing them in one of the police department mini-subs that had been (somewhat morbidly) searching Detroit's waterways for Sari. Unfortunately, Fanzone is unable to differentiate between 'down periscope' and 'open hatch', leading to the sub sinking with a gurgled 'This is why I hate machines'. By daylight the Autobots arrive on the island and start exploring. Suddenly, Prowl spots tracks, indicating someone besides the Dinobots is on the island. As they arrive at the edge of the central crater, Bulkhead expresses second thoughts about setting the Dinobots free. What if someone were to find them there? Prowl deactivates his holographic generator and notes that currently won't be an issue, as the Dinobots appear to be gone.

From within his new headquarters, Meltdown observes the two visitors and sends the Dinobots, who are waiting behind him, to deal with the pair.

Back outside in the valley, an outraged Bulkhead growls that they should have melted down the Dinobots as Dr. Sumdac wanted, but Prowl insists the Dinobots are more than just machines, that they are truly alive and so had to be saved. Bulkhead counters by asking who's going to save Sari. The two then leave to explore the island further, with Fanzone (having washed up on the shore) pursuing close behind—well, as close behind as possible after dealing with various mishaps.

In Meltdown's control room, Colossus Rhodes offers to pound the Autobots to scrap, but Meltdown stays him. Sari figures they're both as good as arrested and taunts them until Rhodes bulks up and scares her into silence.

Outside, Bulkhead and Prowl discover Captain Fanzone sinking in quicksand and haul him out. Prowl asks why he's following them, but Fanzone counters by asking what they're doing on an abandoned island research facility in the middle of Lake Erie, and they fall silent.

Still watching the proceedings, Meltdown decides it's time to greet his guests personally and leaves Rhodes to guard Sari. Rhodes taunts Sari for a change, but Sari just asks to go to the toilet - 'I'm a little girl, it's what I do'.

On the surface, Fanzone continues to question Bulkhead about the situation, wondering if there's something he's not being told. Bulkhead abruptly points out the Dinobots behind Fanzone as the possible missing piece of info. Prowl offers to deal with the Dinobots, as they trust him, but they attack. Prowl is confused, but Bulkhead figures it's pretty straightforward: The Dinobots kidnapped Sari and now want to destroy them. He also lets slip that he and Prowl helped the Dinobots escape. During the skirmish, Prowl notes acid burns on Swoop's leg plating and deduces that someone with the ability to burn the Dinobots is forcing them to act this way. The Autobots and Fanzone manage to make a run for it, only to find themselves in a dead-end canyon. When Meltdown confronts them, Prowl finally puts it all together, realizing that the villain is behind the Dinobots capturing Sari and attacking them. Meltdown gleefully monologues about finding an island with its own security system just when he needed a place for private experiments, and how Sari will now be his latest subject. An enraged Bulkhead charges, but Meltdown's acid blasts a painful hole in the Autobot's chest.

Prowl and Fanzone run to help him, but Meltdown touches a remote-control button and sends the pair plummeting through a trap door down into a steel-lined holding pen. There, he pits them against two of his less successful experiments in creating transforming humans, people capable of taking on any shape at will. Both test subjects however (including Meltdown's lawyer) mutated into ungodly abominations. He notes that the failures were a result of using adult test subjects, whereas a still-growing human should prove much more promising. And what better choice than the daughter of his arch-rival, Isaac Sumdac? He then leaves to administer his formula to Sari while his two mutants take care of Prowl and Fanzone.

Elsewhere in the base, Sari tricks Cyrus Rhodes into checking out the rest room toilet, then uses her key to flood water on him, shorting out the electrode/pistons that let him bulk up. When he turns to attack her, she trips him, then locks him in the bathroom and takes off. Somehow, she finds the controls to turn off the laser barrier keeping Prowl and Fanzone trapped in the holding pit. Freed just in time, they take off and quickly locate Sari. Informed of Bulkhead's predicament, she guides them out the way she was brought in. As they start down the hall, Fanzone spots a rack of spare protective suits for Meltdown and grabs one.

Prowl gets the two humans past a closing steel door and outside, where Sari quickly uses her key to heal Bulkhead. Before they can celebrate, Meltdown shows up with the Dinobots. Sari launches into a flying kick which totally misses Meltdown, but serves as the distraction needed for Prowl to score a hit. Before a stunned Meltdown can recover, Fanzone tackles him and wraps him up in a spare acid-resistant-pimp-suit he grabbed from Meltdown's stores. Meltdown orders the Dinobots to attack, but Prowl points that that Meltdown has no power over them any more. Grimlock declares that it's time to hurt Meltdown, and the Dinobots transform into robot mode...which naturally surprises the others. Prowl offers the panicking Meltdown a choice: going to prison or being left to the Dinobots' (lack of) mercies. Just then, Colossus Rhodes (whose electronics apparently dried out) and the two mutants burst out of the entrance into the underground facility, only to draw the Dinobots' attention to themselves. The mighty mechanical trio ignite their weapons and quickly trounce the three mutants - from a distance the audience witnesses a large explosion bloom on the island's flank, like a beautiful flower...

That evening, Fanzone and the Autobots take Sari and the captive Meltdown and Rhodes back to Detroit. Fanzone calls Dr. Sumdac to give him the good news, and Bulkhead and Prowl wonder if they should admit about the Dinobots to Prime. Fanzone assures Prowl that as long as the Dinobots stay on the island and out of Detroit, he doesn't have a problem with them. Prowl thanks him for all his help, and the two acknowledge they make a decent team, despite their different physical compositions. Watching Sari try out another kick on Bulkhead, Fanzone expresses continuing doubts about teaching ninja moves to eight-year-olds. Prowl agrees, noting Sari can apparently take care of herself in her own unique fashion.

Stats

 * Written by: Steven Granat
 * Directed by: Irineo Maramba & Makoto Fuchigami
 * Original airdate: March 8, 2008

Featured characters
(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Quotes
"This is why I hate machines!" "No need to be such a technophobe, Captain." "A technophobe is someone who fears technology. (Smashes cell phone)  Does this look like FEAR TO YOU?!" "Um...my mistake."
 * —Captain Fanzone straightens out Prowl ' s perceptions of him.

Fanzone: You're teaching an eight-year-old nerve blows? Ratchet: You want her to pick it up in the street? Prowl: This is part of every protoform's elemental programming. Fanzone: Say what? Bulkhead: Yeah, it's not like we're having her fight Decepticons. Prowl: Yet.
 * —Captain Fanzone and the Autobots debate the finer points of child education.

"Wait a minute—roll that back." "Sure thing, dollface."
 * —The Reception Bot gets sassy with Optimus.

"Help!" "That sounded like Captain Fanzone." "Y-Yeah, hey, I—I do a really good impression of myself screaming for help!"
 * —Even in mortal danger, Captain Fanzone zings Prowl.

"Who better than the daughter of my arch-rival, the bane of my existence, the simpering fool who is unworthy to lick the mud off the heels of my platform-shoes, booga-looga-looga-loose! Professor Isaac Sumdac!"
 * —Meltdown gets down with his bad self while monologuing.

"Dibs on Lefty—I hate lawyers."
 * Captain Fanzone actually hates something besides machines.

"Meltdown not hurt Dinobots...Dinobots hurt Meltdown."
 * Grimlock. Run far, run fast, Melty.

Fanzone: "What the...?!" Sari: "Whoa...!" Bulkhead: "Uh, they couldn't do that before. Right?"
 * The gang learns that the Dinobots are more than meets the eye.

Continuity errors

 * How the heck do Prowl and Bulkhead speak quietly enough to avoid Ratchet and Prime overhearing, yet loudly enough for Fanzone to hear them? (Of course, he may have just been suspicious about the two of them having a private conversation.)
 * Apparently, there's nothing wrong with cutting a cargo ship free of its moorings and sailing it out into the middle of Lake Erie without permission. (Prowl and Bulkhead must have convinced either the ship's captain or its computerized pilot system to make an unscheduled trip.)
 * Why does Meltdown bother to send the Dinobots, then go to handle his guests himself several minutes later? Sure, it works out, but was it planned that way?

Transformers references

 * Meltdown's genetically engineered minions (previous failed attempts at producing "human transformers") bear a striking resemblance to the Generation 1 Pretenders Bomb-Burst/Blood and Submarauder/Gilmer.

Real-world references

 * A lawyer being turned into a shark creature? Surely there was no deeper meaning here...

Miscellaneous trivia

 * This is the first episode in which Snarl and Swoop transform. They still haven't spoken, however.
 * This is also the first episode in which Fanzone refers to any of the Autobots by name, suggesting he's getting used to them being more than machines.
 * Bumblebee appears in this episode, but doesn't speak.
 * Part of Grimlock's transformation is recycled animation from "Blast from the Past".
 * Captain Fanzone's phone seems remarkably outdated compared to the mobile phone his subordinate is shown using; it's the size of a brick, has a permanently extended antenna and amazingly features a rotary-dial to ring in the numbers...and even then Fanzone can't figure out how to use it. The man was clearly born a century after his time and presumably would be more comfortable around gramophones and steam locomotives.
 * Fanzone's dialog suggests that a volcanic island in the middle of Lake Erie is not as preposterous as it might seem, as the island was formerly a research facility of some shape or form. Odds are that Isaac owns it and simply doesn't know it.
 * Bulkhead seems to be more then a match for all three Dinobots here, yet they make incredibly short work of the mutants and Colossus Rhodes(Colossus had previously proved to be a decent enough challenge for Bulkhead, Prime, Prowl and Ratchet). Maybe their sparks just weren't in it?
 * Do we really want to know what that key slot was doing on the controls for a toilet?
 * The two mutants are conspicuously absent in the final scene (Fanzone notes "got 'em both," indicating only two prisoners), so it appears they were either destroyed or left imprisoned on the island, subject to the Dinobots' whims, which seems harsh given the two were (presumably) innocent victims of Meltdown's experiments. If they're somehow held on ship, not mentioning or showing them seems to be quite an oversight.